What to Say When Someone Tells You They're Autistic: An Affirming Guide

If you’re not familiar with autism, you might not know how to react when someone tells you they’re on the spectrum. It’s understandable to feel unsure about what to say or do in these situations, but it’s important to respond with empathy and understanding to communicate with individuals with autism effectively.

In this article, we’ll explore some tips and strategies for how to respond when someone says they’re autistic.

Understanding Autism

Before we dive into how to respond to someone who tells you they’re autistic, let’s take a moment to understand what autism is. Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a developmental disorder that affects communication, social interaction, and behavior. People with autism may have difficulty understanding social cues, expressing themselves verbally or non-verbally, and may engage in repetitive behaviors or have specific interests.

It’s important to note that autism is a spectrum disorder, which means that individuals on the spectrum can have a range of abilities and challenges. Some individuals may have milder forms of autism and may require little to no support, while others may require more significant support.

How to Respond When Someone Says They’re Autistic

When someone tells you they’re autistic, it’s important to respond in a way that is respectful and understanding. Here are some tips for how to respond when someone says they’re autistic:

1. Listen and Validate Their Feelings

If someone tells you they’re autistic, the first thing you should do is listen. It takes a lot of courage for someone to disclose their diagnosis, and it’s important to validate their feelings. Let them know that you hear them and that you’re there to support them.

2. Avoid Making Assumptions

It’s important to avoid making assumptions about someone’s abilities or challenges based on their diagnosis. Remember that autism is a spectrum disorder, and each individual is unique. Instead, ask questions and listen to the person’s experiences to better understand their needs.

3. Ask How You Can Support Them

If someone discloses their autism diagnosis to you, it’s important to ask how you can support them. Everyone on the spectrum has different needs, so it’s important to understand how you can be a supportive friend or ally. Ask them if there are specific accommodations or strategies that would be helpful.

4. Avoid Using Ableist Language

It’s important to avoid using language that is ableist or derogatory. Terms like “crazy” or “retarded” can be hurtful and offensive. Instead, use language that is respectful and person-first. For example, instead of saying “autistic person,” say “person with autism.”

5. Be Respectful of Their Boundaries

If someone tells you they’re autistic, it’s important to respect their boundaries. Some individuals may not want to discuss their diagnosis in depth, while others may be more open. Respect their wishes and don’t push them to disclose more than they’re comfortable sharing.

6. Educate Yourself

Finally, it’s important to educate yourself about autism. Learn about the different challenges and strengths that individuals on the spectrum may have. This will help you be a better ally and advocate for individuals with autism.

FAQs about How to Respond When Someone Says They’re Autistic

What should I say if someone tells me they’re autistic?

You can start by thanking them for sharing with you and asking how you can support them. Listen to their experiences and ask questions to better understand their needs.

Can someone with autism live independently?

Yes, many individuals with autism can live independently. However, the level of support they may need can vary depending on their individual needs.

Is it okay to ask questions about someone’s autism?

Yes, it’s okay to ask questions about someone’s autism, but make sure you do so in a respectful and non-intrusive way. Remember that everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to discussing their diagnosis.

How can I be a supportive ally to someone with autism?

You can be a supportive ally by listening to their experiences, asking how you can support them, and advocating for their needs. Educating yourself about autism and avoiding ableist language can also be helpful.

Can someone with autism have a successful career?

Yes, many individuals with autism have successful careers in a variety of fields. However, it’s important to provide support and accommodations as needed to ensure their success.

What are some common misconceptions about autism?

Some common misconceptions about autism include that all individuals with autism are non-verbal or have intellectual disabilities. In reality, autism is a spectrum disorder, and each individual is unique.

Conclusion

If someone tells you they’re autistic, it’s important to respond with empathy and understanding. Listen to their experiences, ask how you can support them, and educate yourself about autism. Avoid making assumptions or using ableist language, and respect their boundaries. With these tips in mind, you can be a supportive ally to individuals with autism and help create a more inclusive and understanding society.